In the word “Self-esteem” the “evaluation” part is not so important as the “self”!
We use this word all the time. We say that someone has low self-esteem, while someone, on the contrary, has it too high. It seems to us that we understand what we are talking about.
It would seem that everything is simple: if someone has low self-esteem, you need to praise this person or convince him that everything is fine. If, for example, he can cross the rope bridge to the cheering cries of people, then his level of self-esteem will increase and he will become a confident person. Use the personality generator tool, find what kind of personality traits you do have and check the difference and work on it.
How to Find out if Your Child is Suffering From Low Self-esteem?
They can manifest themselves in the child’s daily interaction with the outside world or only in certain situations. When these signs repeat and become a pattern of behavior, it is worth considering whether the child has problems with self-esteem.
- The child avoids tasks without even trying to complete them. This is often a sign of fear and that the child feels vulnerable in the face of difficulties.
- The child quickly ends the game, admitting defeat at the slightest failure.
- The child cheats or lies when he thinks he can lose.
- The child is acting too silly. This behavior leads to the fact that other children begin to tease and call him names.
- The child is commanding and does not give in to persuasion, hiding a feeling of frustration or helplessness behind such behavior.
- The child makes excuses (“The teacher does not understand anything”) or downplays the importance of events (“I don’t like this game at all”) in order to shift the responsibility onto others or circumstances.
- The child has declined school performance or has lost interest in his usual activities.
- The child avoids social activity, communicates little with friends.
- The child’s mood often changes: calmness is replaced by sadness, disappointment, crying, or outbursts of anger.
- The child often uses self-critical phrases, for example: “I never do anything right”, “No one loves me”, “I am ugly”, “I am not smart enough.”
- The child does not accept praise and criticism well.
- The child pays excessive attention to what others think of him.
The child is susceptible to the negative influence of peers: he disdains school, skips lessons, and behaves disrespectfully. He has a tendency to steal, smoke, use alcohol or drugs.
The child either helps too much or does not help at all around the house.
Sometimes you’re not feeling good then go out with your friends, family and have fun. Play some games, with a wow name generator, collect different names and give it to your loved ones for fun.
Self-esteem and Understanding of Oneself as a Person
Self-esteem does not depend on praise, but on how much a person is enriched with communication and its fruits – an understanding of his personality.
Of course, this issue is being worked on in schools and other educational and health institutions – wherever aspiring and empathic adults support problem young people. In this case, undoubtedly, praise, encouragement, recognition of efforts and achievements play a very important role. But it’s not that simple.
Help Children Work on Self-esteem
Such complex concepts as a sense of oneself, autonomy and uniqueness of one’s personality, and a sense of one’s own significance for this world, when applied to young people, risk being reduced to just one word – “self-esteem” and, possibly, to several more interventions in their behavioral sphere. … If adolescents have a sense of themselves, their “I” (understanding of themselves as a person) for some reason is underdeveloped or absent, all our attempts and good intentions aimed at increasing their self-esteem are most likely
We are not born with an understanding of our own “I”, self-awareness and deep self-awareness. All this develops along with relationships (relationships) and very much depends on their quality.
A newborn baby is physically and psychologically connected to its mother. And only when he looks in the mirror does his inner self begin to develop.
But a toddler who cannot hold his head is not yet able to crawl out of his crib to get to the mirror and look at himself! Adults are a “mirror” for him.
When we see this little man, we begin to imitate (reflect) his emotions and facial expressions at the moment when he cries or laughs. And very soon we begin to expand its range, offering more and more new facial expressions and sounds that the child carefully remembers.
The Gift of Self-esteem for Children
There is a theory that if a child receives a sufficient amount of such a consonant subtle mirroring, then he learns the ability to mirror himself. In other words, he does not need the physical presence of another person to confirm his existence, because he has already learned to reflect on himself, being aware of his feelings and mood.
The child can relax knowing that he rightfully exists as a separate person. The child’s feeling of himself, of his personality, is the totality of all his feelings, emotions, and gestures, which were recognized and mirrored to him (back), everything that he learned from the outside, becoming the inner characteristics of the child: “This is what I am! That’s what I am! “
However, if the child sees only anger around him (that is, his “mirror” shows him anger), he will become angry. If his parents (all the same “mirrors”) are always worried and worried, then he will also be constantly worried.
Our perception of ourselves narrows or expands depending on what we see in that “mirror”, which is our environment. So, for example, we become creative, interesting if we are surrounded by interesting and creative people.
Therefore, such a popular concept as “self-esteem” directly depends on the development of self-awareness, self-awareness, and understanding of ourselves as a person – our inner, very deep, and fundamental component. Forget about “grade”, but “me” first. How insecure are you now? How to develop your personality and make it more confident and flexible? That is the question and our task.
Feeling and understanding oneself does not depend on praise, not on behavior correction, but largely on those people who know us, are interested in us, listen carefully, communicate and reflect on us so that we can better understand ourselves.
Well, all this is not difficult to correct and make appropriate adjustments to the child’s life, becoming for him the most beautiful “mirrors” in the world.